O.T.P.

You down with O.T.P.? Yeah, you know me....

Yes, that's right kids, last weekend the Schrein-bot ventured O.T.P. for the first time since he moved to Atlanta. O.T.P., for those who don't live in the ATL or have a similar set up in their own city, means

Outside

The

Perimeter.

Most of the bars that people go to in Atlanta are in a few select areas (Virginia-Highlands, Midtown, Buckhead, Downtown, etc.), all of which are conveniently located within the confines of Interstate 285.

There is one place, however, that brings people from far and wide. A place that brings a crowd that ranges from the hottest teenagers to the oldest, fattest women I've ever seen in public.

A place where boots are expected and belt buckles are complimented. That place is none other than Wild Bill's.

Wild Bill's is not some hilljack bar with peanuts on the floor and bar fights going on (a la Roadhouse). Nope, its a f---ing enormous bar where rednecks, country bumpkins, and the occasional bar hoppers go to see live country music, bull riding, and line dancing. http://www.wildbillsatlanta.com/ Well, scratch that earlier thought, Wild Bill's is definitely a hill jack bar.

So, what was the Schrein-bot doing going to a place that partakes in such hilljack activities?

To be honest, I don't even know myself........

....and somehow I simultaneously hate and love myself for having gone.

I headed up there with a few law school friends (Danielle, Erin, and Mark) and some of their friends and people that they work with. I tried my very best to dress country, but my wardrobe is not exactly chock full of belt buckles, ten gallon hats, texas ties, and boots.

I settled on tucking my shirt into my jeans (a la jeans friday) . That's about as country as I get.

At least that's what I thought, until the night progressed. By the end of the night I was so country that I became disgusted with my own existence.

Also in attendance was Phil, who happens to be the personal stylist for about half of my friends here in ATL. He went all out with his wardrobe, sporting a beard, a leather cowboy hat, and an amazing Jack Daniel's button down.

Wild Bill's is ridiculous. There is live music, which is performed from an enormous stage that is fully equipped with flashing lights, smoke, and shooting flames. Take a look at this video to get an idea of what this place was like

Stage

If the video doesn't work, here are some pics:

It was like we were at a live country music concert.

Yes, I'm aware of how bad that sounds.

There also is a mechanical bull at Wild Bill's. I have never seen or been on a mechanical bull, and although it might have been my only aspiration for the entire evening, I actually didn't get a chance to ride on it or even see it. It was buried in the corner of this bar and I was too distracted by the entire experience.

One such distraction were the Wild Bill's "Wild Girls." These "Wild Girls" were tasty young women wearing half t-shirts, tight jeans, and white leather chaps. Most of them also came fully equipped with fake breasts.

Periodically these Wild Girls stop working behind the bar, jump up on top of it, and start shaking their sh--. See for yourself:

Wild Girl

Yes m'am!!!

Also, Wild Bill's is an excellent place to people watch. As I mentioned before, there was a broad array of people at this place. As different as they were they all had one undeniable characteristic in common:

they were country as he--.
I did not take too many pictures because I thought I might get discovered for not being a redneck, despite the shirt-tucked-into-jeans that I was sporting. Here's the only pic I took of the crowd.

To better illustrate exactly what type of wardrobes we were dealing with, here is a picture of a guy wearing an American flag shirt, exactly like the one that some guy sported at Wild Bill's.

It was an interesting experience, to say the least.

So anyway, I figured that if I was going to Wild Bill's, I wasn't going to half@ss it:

I was going to ride the bull,
drink Budweiser,

and line-dance

I succeeded in two of three. Well, that's if you can call it succeeding. More accurately I would say that I failed by actually completing my goals. Failed the game of life.

Anyway, we had a good attitude that night and decided to just let loose and have fun. Wild Bill's has a huge dance floor and unfortunately we took full advantage of that fact.



Okay, so I have something I want to get off my chest....

I don't really know how to put this.....

Well, okay, so there's this dance floor, as I mentioned

And, on this dance floor...well...people, you know, dance

And Wild Bill's is ....how do I say this....a.....country western type of bar

And in country western type bars people sometimes dance....kind of....in formation

And that formation oftentimes resembles....um........you know.........a line

You know, some people call it .... um.... line dancing

And sometimes people visiting Wild Bill's with their shirts tucked into their jeans because they are trying to fit in yet stick out at the same time because they think that country western bars are comical and are trying to go along with what everyone is doing at the bar to try to make the most of their situation and perhaps they accidentally notice I said accidentally not on purpose but accidentally they might put their thumbs in between the belt loops of their jeans and perhaps these theoretical people might happen to have nicknames that their friends gave them that might be something along the lines of oh I don't know something ridiculous like the Schrein-bot and maybe they might as a joke but in no way because it was actually fun but because it was a joke would attempt to dance in the formation that could resemble a line....


















Yup.....

(silence)

Look, let's just pretend this entry never happened.

© 2006 Schrein-Bot