The Schrein-bot's Blog: Jamaica

Hey mon, you're in Jamaica, it's no problem!

Last weekend the Dish and I took a little getaway to the land of Bob Marley, to get a little sunshine and some relaxation.

It was my first trip to Jamaica but let me say that I love the Jamaican way of thinking.

The answer to any and every question and the appropriate comment in any situation is:

"no problem"

For instance, growing and smoking ganja?

No problem.

Drinking Hummingbirds on the beach?

No problem.

Not going into work unless you feel like it?

No problem.

The thing is, this way of thinking doesn't really go over to well with the Schrein-bot when there actually IS a problem.

For instance, when they decided to cancel our flight and we had to leave a day later...

no problem?

Or when we were only allowed to book one dinner at our all inclusive resort despite being there for three days...

no problem?

Or when we requested fresh towels not once,

not twice,

but THREE times (once in person),

and somehow we STILL did not get new towels.....

no problem?

Sometimes I think that if the Jamaicans had a different attitude they wouldn't be living in shanties. Here are some pics I took of the houses people live in down there:

But hey, to them its.....

that's right....

no problem.

Also in Jamaica, you need a voucher for everything. That's pronounced "VOW-CHA" in Jamaicanese. You need to have a vowcha to get on the plane, you need a vowcha to get on the bus, you need to have a vowcha to check in at the hotel, and you even need a vowcha to get beach towels at the hotel.

Unfortunately, the "no problem" philosophy doesn't apply to non-Jamaicans. In other words, the Schrein-bot was unable to effectively use the "no problem" approach when he could not locate one of his vowchas.

"Sir, you need to have a vowcha to get a ride back to de airport"

"Well, that's the thing, we don't have a voucher, they didn't give us one at the airport. Can't you just check my credit card information?"

"But you need a vowcha"

"Um, like I said, we don't have a voucher; your people didn't give us one."

"You should have gotten a vowcha"

"Okay, so I don't have a voucher......

but we're in Jamaica, it's no problem."

".............

...............

Sir, you need a vowcha"

"This country sucks."

Anyway, overall we managed to have a great time despite the numerous problems we encountered with our guest services.

We stayed at the Sunset Jamaica Grand,

an all inclusive resort in Ocho Rios. It was listed on Hotwire.com as a four star resort. If I gave it two and a half stars I would be kidding myself. That place sucked. The staff was very unhelpful, the beach is in a bay so we didn't get the crystal clear water we were hoping for, and a cruise ship docked in our bay for one of the days we were there.

But, we did get to hang out by the beach

look at some palm trees